I haven’t been writing in the blog as of late. The reason is that I’ve been busy writing a book. It’s a memoir of my experiences in Costa Rica, entitled “A Coming of Age in Costa Rica” (at least at the present moment that’s what the title is).
The following is an excerpt from the next to final chapter…
Meditation is a concept that comes to us from the East. We westerners are far too busy trying to improve ourselves and our situation to have possibly come up with such a sedate concept. That’s probably why American infrastructure is much better than it is in India. But having great infrastructure is not always the key to happiness, now is it? Costa Rica is annually ranked as one of the happiest countries on earth. But I can tell you one thing for sure, the infrastructure here isn’t all that great!
The western mindset sets us up for a lifetime of struggle. We simply can’t stop wanting. We want things to be better. We want to be better. We want our relationships to be better. We want to be surrounded by beautiful things. And we strain and strive our entire lives to have those things. We even call it the “American Dream.” However, for many it’s more like a nightmare that you never wake up from.
It didn’t take too long to dawn upon me here in Costa Rica that these ticos already have something, for free, that we in the States pay dearly for…beauty. They are surrounded by it. They wake up to it, walk through it, and work in and around it. I’m speaking of the incredible natural beauty that surrounds you here in Costa Rica. Of course, we have plenty of natural beauty in the U.S. as well, but we hardly recognize it. And what’s worse we work hard to destroy it in our constant effort towards “infrastructure improvement.”
I have to drive about 40 minutes from the mountains where I live down to my office at the beach. I make these drives early in the morning over a coastal mountain range that offers up some of the most beautiful landscapes that can be found in the country, perhaps anywhere. It is simply breathtaking and it never gets old driving over those vibrant green mountains, set against the backdrop of the deep blue Pacific. This beach road, as it’s called, is also the supply route between the city of San Isidro and the beach towns of Dominical, Uvita and Ojochal.
The other day I was driving through on a beautiful morning, enjoying the scenery, with the Grateful Dead supplying the background music. I was in the present to a large extent, even though I was thinking about my plans for the day. Then I encountered one of those supply trucks. It was plodding along at an excruciatingly slow pace and blocking my forward view of the landscape. I started to feel anger and impatience building. In short, the frigging truck became an obstacle to my bliss. I was finally able to get around that damned truck. I was once again free and happy and in the moment…until the next truck. That process continued all the way up and down the mountain until I finally arrived at the beach about an hour later, thoroughly depressed.
And that’s the way life is. People say that happiness is elusive. The reason is because you really can’t think your way to happiness. Because if you “want” to be happy then you’re basically conceding the now for the later. You’re admitting to yourself that somehow the future can be better. Of course it can be. We should plan for a better future. But what we shouldn’t do is what I was doing on my mountain ride. Don’t concede the now for the later. We will never truly attain happiness by doing that. We will always be unsatisfied, thinking (the operative word) that the next moment could be better than the present one.
Costa Rica has gradually and painfully taught me better how to be here now. My current meditation practice is helping even more. But Costa Rica in and of itself did play an important role. I gradually learned how to want less from life. I learned that happiness promoters tend to be happier than happiness pursuers. That rather than wanting so much from life, perhaps a better way to look at it is, what does life want from me? After all, life is a very precious gift bestowed upon us by the universe, against all odds. And our response should be to always want more and constantly be miserable because we don’t have what we want? I don’t think so.
If only I had this or that thing or the emotion I believe that having that thing might bring me. It’s a continuous cycle of misery, much like my trip to the beach turned out to be. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that acceptance of the way things are, right now, is a much better way. Doesn’t mean I don’t plan. I sell real estate. I love those commissions. But I don’t let the fact that I have a “deal pending” become an obstacle to my bliss, or at least I strive not to. I do so by meditation. I do so by writing. I do so by taking long walks in the mountains. I do so in many ways that suit me. You must find your own path to bliss. And the place to look is not in the past or in the future…it’s where you are…
And where is that?
Here.
And when is that?
Now.
The best advice you can glean from this chapter and perhaps this entire book is just that…don’t concede the now for the later…
Be here now.