Creativity Kryptonite

It’s well known that artistic or creative people are also prone towards self-indulgence.

We recently witnessed that, again, with the great actor, Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Oh yea, I know it was an addiction…a disease that did him in. But the disease has its roots in self-indulgence.

I have always been a fan of the Doors…especially the shamanistic front-man, Jim Morrison.

Has there ever been a better example of self-indulgence in motion?

I have at times embraced the Morrisonian philosophy (originally found in the words of Blake) that “the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”

I am here to tell you…it doesn’t lead to any such place and that becomes increasingly clear to me as I get older.

And I believe one should consider that idea in conjunction with Blake’s later line…

You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.

Lately I’ve been re-discovering some old pieces that I’ve written that I feel really belong here.

Here’s another one…which also expresses the way I’ve been feeling recently…

Perhaps there are a few others out there who would echo a similar sentiment…

What Makes Me Weak

You know there is a lot I want to accomplish, but I just never seem to get around to it.

Why?

I think I have it…the answer, that is. And it’s not procrastination.

It’s self-indulgence…or the amount of time I spend engaged in that horribly unproductive state…

You see, I want to be selfless, but I always seem to sabotage that desire with self-indulgence.

I believe selflessness is the best path to creativity, productivity and, ultimately, impact.

Impact mindfulness is a selfless concept. But I am a poor practitioner of it because too much of the time I am not selfless…

I am self-indulgent.

Let’s contrast the two states for clarification…

Selflessness is inspirational and motivational…

Self-indulgence is depressing and immobilizing…

Being creative is the ultimate selfless act (in my opinion)…

Self-indulgence is the ultimate path to frustration, disappointment and disillusion…

So what exactly am I talking about with this term “self-indulgence?”

Well, I would say that any form of “dependence” is self-indulgent.

Co-dependency is really just self-indulgence.

Drunkenness is self-indulgent.

Drug use can be (and probably usually is) self-indulgent.

[afterthought: I’m really not referring to hallucinogenic use by the likes of the Beatles that inspired expression and connection culminating in Sergeant Pepper’s, but more along the lines of Joplin’s sticking a needle in her arm after leaving the stage in order to escape expression and connection.]

Being promiscuous is self-indulgent.

Being greedy is self-indulgent.

Worrying incessantly over economic security is self-indulgent.

Being dishonest (with yourself or others) is self-indulgent.

Being mean, or manipulative, is self-indulgent.

And it is a powerful impact blinder.

Self-indulgence is what makes me weak.

It is my Creativity Kryptonite.

And it always depletes my superpowers.

So why do I do it? Because in the moment, it feels right.

But that’s a long-term lie!

Morrison on stage, or in the studio, creating theater, music and lyrics the likes of which had never been seen nor heard before…now that was selfless and impactful.

Morrison curled up with a bottle and dying in a bathtub didn’t accomplish a goddamn thing.

image credit: Waitin’ For The Sun via Compfight cc