Happiness with Artificial Ingredients

I’ve been going on lately about happiness.

Seems I’ve come to some recent conclusions on the topic, namely…

that happiness is more plausible when promoted and

shared.

If you think about it those two concepts are related, maybe even the same.

I’m reading Adam Braun’s book, The Promise of a Pencil.

Adam was inspired during a Semester at Sea by a little Indian boy whose one thing most wanted in life was a pencil (which, of course, is a metaphor for an education).

So, Adam started an organization with $25 in the bank called Pencils of Promise that is building schools in places where children would otherwise have no ability to enjoy a decent education.

I believe from the looks of him during the book promotion interviews I’ve seen lately, that he’s pretty doggone happy.

And his happiness is being promoted and shared with children who just want education.

It’s a reciprocal happiness…the kind that really matters…and lasts.

Cool stuff…this happiness.

So, if it’s true that happiness is only real when promoted and shared, then why do we insist on looking for other forms of it?

I’ll call those types….

Happiness with artificial ingredients.

Here are some examples…

Thing-based Happiness – The idea that somehow inanimate objects will bring us happiness. If I could just have that [blank], well then I’ll be happy. Then the thing rusts or runs out and so goes our happiness.

Career-based Happiness – The perfect job will bring the perfect life and the perfect experience of happiness…never happens, especially not these days.

Relational-based Happiness – Wait, doesn’t that contradict with my premise? Well, sort of, but I’m not talking about shared or promoted happiness, but co-dependent happiness…that is, that the only way to experience happiness is to have this or that person. Problem comes when they don’t feel the same way.

Chemically-induced Happiness – We look for happiness in a bottle of booze, or a joint, or line of coke. Problem with those things is that the temporary happiness always has the flip-side, the happiness hangover, which is anything but happy. True happiness doesn’t give hangovers.

Success (or goal)-oriented Happiness – Happiness comes from the achievement of some goal, like 6-pack abs, closing the deal, or making the sale, etc. Problem is that once you achieve it, the happiness goes away until the next one.

Good Looks-based Happiness – If I could only look a certain way, maybe I will be able to attract happiness. Externally based happiness, which is really what all of these examples are, is just not real, nor lasting. And that’s especially true with this type…even with the surgery option (think Michael Jackson).

Purpose-based Happiness – If I could just discover my purpose, why it is that I’m here, then I’ll be happy. Problem with this is that you’re here to just be happy, not to discover that fact.

Peace and Tranquility-related Happiness – If I am at peace with myself and others, then happiness will ensue. That’s a state of happiness that is awfully hard to maintain, since the potentially very different conceptions of others are involved.

Intellectual Happiness – Knowledge and intelligence are the keys that will unlock the doors to happiness. Well, sometimes the more we know the more depressed we can become about the precarious state of things.

Dogma-based Happiness – The idea that happiness is discovered on the road to religious conformity and obedience. I’ve seen a few of these types in my lifetime (even been one) and none of them appear to me to be all that happy.

I think the problem with all of the above is that happiness is never discovered “out there”, but rather “in here.”

And, once experienced, it just doesn’t work out so well to try and keep it to yourself.

image credit: Nicameli via Compfight cc