I have yet to watch an episode of Duck Dynasty. It looks like the typical Thanksgiving at Grandma’s back in the day from the brief snippets I catch sometimes while channel surfing. So, maybe I don’t need to watch it…I’ve lived it (even though I’ll admit that I’ve never shot a single duck in my entire life).

But I did hear about the show’s main character, the paterfamilias, Phil Robertson, being let go for some comments about gays during a GQ interview. First off, it seems kinda odd that he would be doing a GQ interview in the first place…doesn’t it? GQ…isn’t that like a fashion magazine?

He basically said, paraphrasing profusely, that God hates homosexuals…and used some well-warn scripture to back it up. And now legions of free-speech loving fundamentalists are rallying to his side and threatening to put the show off the air if Robertson is not immediately reinstated.

Funny, I didn’t see a similar reaction when Charlie Sheen was let go from Two and a Half Men for his comments. Well, then again, Charlie’s rant wasn’t about queers and he didn’t quote the bible.

Or, at least it would seem that’s its most ubiquitous utility for the fundamentalist ilk.

I once tried on fundamentalism, but the clothes never fit me that comfortably. I was in this group called BSF (for Bible Study Fellowship). It is a world-wide organized bible study…I think it’s still around. After being in the group as a regular attendee for about a year, I was asked to be a group leader. Group leaders serve for 7 years, which is how long it takes to get through the entire bible in the BSF systematic method of study. And, yes, I made it through all 7 of them…not without stirring up a bit of controversy here and there.

One of the rules for being a group leader is that you must never have been divorced in your entire life. At that time I made the cut…I wouldn’t now.

Divorce is bad…God hates it. Just like the queers. Well, maybe not quite as bad as the queers.

We couldn’t drink alcohol either…not in public anyway. God frowns on that one too. I have to admit that I didn’t do too well at complying with this rule.

I know that the evangelical message is supposed to be all about God’s love. It’s about faith in that love…and giving up trying to earn salvation. Just accept His love in the person of Jesus Christ and you will be given your coveted set of keys to the pearly gates.

But after saying that with the typical vacuous smile that makes you wonder if there’s really any there…there, they take that same book of compassion and turn it into the world’s most lethal weapon.

Why do I say it’s the world’s most lethal weapon…isn’t that a bit hyperbolic, you ask? Well I can only tell you about the havoc it…or this fundamentalist interpretation of it…has wreaked in my own life.

You see, in addition to many other things that I’m not proud of, I’m an adulterer. And that’s another one, like the queers and the divorcees, that God is not all too fond of. What’s worse, I’m a caught red-handed adulterer. That’s the kind that everyone else hates too…especially in the Christian circles that I revolved in back then.

I had (no, have) a sin problem…and sin problems are dealt with rather harshly. I was basically told in no uncertain terms how I would live the rest of my life if I expected to be restored to my previous standing in the club, which would include a fresh set of keys to the newly installed locks on the doors of my own home. In short, I was rather severely “bible whipped.”

But like I have against most things I’ve been told to do throughout my life…I rebelled. And I never heard much more from that community…I am not even sure if for them, I continue to exist.

I’m likewise not altogether sure what motivated Phil Robertson to bible whip the gay community in a public forum like GQ. But it seems that the fundamentalist mindset is one that believes that since they alone hold the indisputable truth, which is their interpretation of what a very confusing book says, that they now have the right to speak for God to the rest of those who haven’t yet drunk the kool-aid.

And that speaking is all too often cast in judgmental connotations. And you know that part in the bible that says don’t judge, well it seems to just get glossed over.

And you know that part in the bible that says don’t judge, well it seems to just get glossed over.

Because the bible is such a powerful, pervasive and intimidating force in our Western culture…it’s use as a weapon is very lethal indeed. It hurts, maims, even kills (the spirit). It hurts where it can do serious damage…it shames us. And there are few things, maybe nothing, that hurt worse than shame…at least that’s been true in my personal life experience.

There are few things, maybe nothing, that hurt worse than shame…at least that’s been true in my personal life experience.

That is, I can remember shameful moments much more vividly and emotively than, say, breaking my collar bone, or even getting the shit kicked out of me.

I’ll end this Duck Dynasty diatribe by simply saying that I’ve recently decided to embrace a more progressive view of Christianity…one that interprets the bible more as a book about compassion than about cultivating hate towards anyone or thing.

image credit: Curtis Gregory Perry via Compfight cc