Here’s another post from the distant past, inspired, in part, as was yesterday’s, by the book…The Road Less Traveled…
OK, I’ll admit…at the time I wrote it, I was having some “love” issues…
I seem to be writing a lot on this topic of love, relationships, and, you know, really yucky stuff. I promise I’ll move on soon, but humor me, please, for a moment, whilst I soothe my sore ego.
In Scott Peck’s book, The Road Less Traveled (which I recommend for anyone with problems upstairs, which pretty much means everyone, including YOU), he dispels some myths about the nature of true love.
For Peck, it all comes down to extending oneself emotionally, physically, financially and in all others ways, for the spiritual growth of another human being.
Love in return for performance?
Does that really sound correct to you?
I will love you as long as you buy me things, take me places, and please me in the ways I demand. The emphasis always remaining me, me, me…
Doesn’t that sound more like…self-love?
However, I’m afraid many people have that kind of idea about love. As soon as the performance wains, probably due to exhaustion, their “love” for the other dries up…
and they move on to the next ego-feeding source.
Now, there are some good models of unconditional love, in real life, as well as in religious mythology.
However, the best example that I can think of is a mother’s love, specifically my mother’s love.
Granted, that’s a different kind of love than the romantic type. But only in certain respects.
In keeping with Peck’s definition, we should love our partners with that same brand of unconditional love.
We should extend ourselves even when nothing flows back our way in return.
My mother does that on a consistent basis. And not just for me, but for most everyone.
Sometimes I believe she feels a bit exhausted. I can see it in her face, or hear it in her voice, but she keeps on extending nonetheless.
Why?
Because she has real love in her heart. She doesn’t expect, nor demand, a certain level of performance in return.
Now, I’m sure she’d prefer to see a bit of it, i.e., performance, if she had her druthers, but disappointment in regards to such wishful thinking is never a condition to her extending.
Hence this post is for mom, and dedicated to her shining example of unconditional love.
Save for my children, no human being has ever loved me like that…
not even close.
I never have to worry that if I mess up, really bad, she will stop loving me. If that were the case, well, I don’t believe she’d still be answering my phone calls.
But she does and she’s there for me when I need her, always.
I know she reads my drivel from time to time, so, mom, if you happen to catch this one…
thanks and I love you.
post update: my mom passed away October 31, 2016…she will forever be the greatest model of unconditional love that I’ve known...