I recently went computer-less for over a month. I just got it back yesterday…why you haven’t heard from me in a while. Incidentally, if anyone needs a computer guy (only Apple products) in the southern zone of Costa Rica, I’ve got your man.
Life without my computer was…sad. I know that probably sounds sad to many, but someone out there might be able to identify with the feeling…
The good news is that my genius computer guy rectified the situation. So, I don’t have to be sad anymore!
But that’s not always the case, is it?
Sometimes, we lose things dear to us and we can never get them back. That can provoke a sort of happy kind of sadness. We remember the good about those things, while suffering their absence in our lives…at the same time!
Now I don’t want you to think that I’m so shallow as to engage in the feeling of saudade over something as superficial as not having my computer handy.
I just turned 57 yesterday. Believe me I have plenty to feel saudade about!
The truth is that even though our yesterdays are irretrievable, they do in a sense “reside” in our memories. And those memories can provoke a longing for what was and can never be again. That’s the feeling of saudade.
What things commonly provoke this feeling in you?
It’s not a bad feeling, really. In fact, it’s a feeling that adds flavor to life…and the longer we live, the more reasons we’ll likely have to feel it!
That’s because despite our resistance, life just keeps on changing. Nothing stays the same. Everything passes…including us. It’s a physical law that everyone and everything in the universe is destined to obey. We don’t have a choice in the matter.
It’s sort of ironic that as discomforting as change is, when it’s happening, the feeling of saudade that comes later is, in fact, quite comforting.
I guess the closest word we have in English to it would be “nostalgic.” But that one just doesn’t quite capture the feeling, as does saudade.
As we grow older and our physical prowess wanes it’s easy to feel saudade about this loss of vitality. That is, unless and until you realize it’s replaced by something far more vital…wisdom.
The wisdom of the ages.
As I come ever so closer to turning the page on six decades of life as a global citizen of this planet I’ll admit feeling saudade over many waning abilities…
I get tired a lot quicker these days…
Things are beginning to brake more easily…
The door to cynicism cracks open, ever so narrowly…
But as time marches on, so do I…what other choice do I have?
Now that even sounded a bit cynical, didn’t it?
Speaking of change, the rate of change in our world seems to be accelerating at a pace that can make even the most ardent thrill-seeker a bit uneasy.
And many of these aren’t what I’d consider good changes. Yes things are changing and later we’ll surely feel a bit of saudade about them.
As I sit writing this morning surrounded by the lush green Costa Rica mountain landscape, it’s nightmarish to contemplate that perhaps one day, even before I shed this mortal coil, all this natural beauty that has served as my muse for many years, may no longer be…
As I direct my attention to the political change taking place in my country of birth, it is nightmarish to contemplate that this bastion of democracy and freedom that has so long served as a beacon of hope to the world, may cease to exist in the form we have cherished for so long…
These are things we all may feel saudade about in the years to follow.
And in their cases, I’m not sure how comforting that feeling will be.
The powers that be might want them, but not the rest of us. And together we’re more powerful than they are.
Yes, I’m glad to have my computer back. It’s a tool I can use to get thoughts out of my head and into the world…where they can perhaps resonate, or fall flat…
And I will continue to do so…
I’ll continue to write about things that I refuse to accept.
I refuse to accept the idea that we are destined to lose the things we should cherish the most.
Our liberty…
Our right to dignity…
Our right to live in peace…
Our ability to enjoy the beauty and bounty of the natural world…
Our freedom from intolerance…
You see these are things we don’t want to ever feel saudade over!
Do we?